I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize