its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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