My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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