party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize