I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
