I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
