dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
