You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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