new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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