WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
