i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
