im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
