My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
