I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
