I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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