i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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