I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
