I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
