either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Randomize
