remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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