I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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