just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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