After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
