the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
