Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Moan for me like Helen Keller
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
