At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
