i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
