i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
