she looked like the bat from fern gully.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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