You're my little dorito
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
