used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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