I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
