We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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