And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
