Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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