bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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