Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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