but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize