Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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