Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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