I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize