does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
