After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Acid is not a monday night drug
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
