Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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