MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we're making bets on your personal life
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
