There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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