he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
