Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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