It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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