I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
