I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
