D3 body, D1 cock
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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