I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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