Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
