Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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