Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
