Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
