just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
