I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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