I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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