He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
