She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
