Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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