Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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