He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
