It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
