have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
